In order to insure the safety of our guests, you must read and understand the following terms and conditions of the convention.

ODOR POLICY

We will have installed body odor detectors at every entrance and exit. Please be sure to wash regularly with soap and use deodorant. Rank guests will be ejected from the convention without a refund.

Due to limitations of the building, our staff of structural engineers has informed us that no guest over 550 pounds or 63 inches in girth will be permitted to use stairwells, hallways, or restrooms; nor will said individuals be allowed on any floor above the third. Chinook Skycrane helicopters will be available to shuttle our portly guests to convention events.

The safety and health of our guests is our paramount concern here at Ethan eXpo. For that reason, guns, knives, swords, sharpened screwdrivers, pointed sticks, or any other weapons must be carried at all times. Guests failing to display or produce a weapon on demand to convention staff may be ejected. Inexpensive weapons may be purchased at any of the number of gun shops in town.

Selling, displaying, or talking about any article remotely related to Evangelion (except immediately followed by the word SUCKS) may cause you to be ejected or shot.

Alcoholic beverages and drugs will be provided free of charge to convention guests who really know how to party. Chewing or smoking of tobacco products is required in all public areas of the convention.

Convention guests who claim to understand the plot of Gundam will be denied entrance to the convention.

Complaints about the convention may be addressed by our Roswell field office. Your complaint will be registered and then you will be anally probed by aliens under US governmental supervision. You will then wake up 3 days later with your underwear on your head and a Jackson Five 8-track in your left hand. You will, of course, remember none of this except under suggestive hypnotic therapy or during particularly intense episodes of The X Files.

Due to the extreme demand, all con attendees names will be placed in a hat and drawn at random. Selected attendees will be given a can of Krylon and allowed to autograph one wall in the hotel. There are no exceptions to this policy.

Unstable or incoherent con attendees will be provided lobotomies free of charge by our resident surgeon, Dr. Ryo Shiroma. Dr. Shiroma has the latest equipment available in the Sears Craftsman tool catalog and uses only the finest Craftsman high carbon steel drill bits.

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